Apologies, or not, to Dr. Seuss

I do not like you, vac-u-um.

I do not like your noisy vroom.

I do not like your massive weight

I do not like your awkward gait.

 

Would you like a canister?

I would not like a canister

I would like to banish ‘er

I would not like a canister

I’d send it to a planet, grr….

 

Would you like an upright, then?

I would not like an upright, when

It falls and rocks my cleaning zen

I would not like an upright, then.

 

Would you like a Dyson, Shark?

I would not like them, bub, I snark.

I would not like Hoover, Eur-EE-ka

They’re all the same and make me shrieka.

 

I do not like you, vac-u-um

I do not like your noisy vroom.

Men can send each other to the moon,

But can’t make a lightweight, easy-to-use, not-falling-over-and-smacking-you-on-the-legs, long-corded, quiet, powerful, flexible

Vac-u-um.

What’s with that?

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