Monthly Archives: October 2019

Motherhood

The third book in my Bethany Beach series is out now on Kindle!

Anne’s Family Plan takes place up the coast  from Bethany at Dover, Delaware. Its story centers on civilian physical therapist Anne Lee (first seen in Book One in the series, Reese’s Summer of Promise) who, after learning she’s unlikely to ever bear children, meets a USAF pilot, a widower with two daughters, ages twelve and fifteen. As Anne comes to grips with the fact that she’s perfectly fine without motherhood in her future, she has to confront a big question: What happens when you fall in love with a man but not his kids? She eventually discovers that motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all career.

Annes_Family_Plan_200x300I’m a happy mother of three grown children, but before I bore them I’d not been around babies or even young tots much at all. My ideas of motherhood were wildly unrealistic. I had this notion, for example, that I’d be able to take my new infant with me to opera rehearsals (I was a singer at the time), and he’d sleep peacefully through the whole practice. (Cue hysterical laughter from mothers everywhere.)

As my children grew, I discovered I struggled with some other aspects of motherhood. I was horrible at setting up play dates, for example, because I came of age when kids just found each other and played in yards or in alleys.

I also don’t think I was terrific at children’s birthday parties, not knowing how to keep fun flowing and merriment abounding, astonished at how a particular game lasted only five minutes when I’d budgeted twenty for it.

I could go on, but the bottom line is: I was less than perfect at some mothering tasks, okay at others, and maybe really good at some.

When I watch my daughter-in-law deal with motherhood with grace and panache, I’m in awe. I know it’s hard but she makes it seem effortless.

I console myself over my failures with memories of successes (I hope they were, at least!). I was a fierce advocate for my kids at their schools, making sure they were in appropriate classes for their skill levels and, yes, battling with some teachers who, oddly enough, seemed challenged by bright kids. (And I did this while also trying to instill in my kids respect for those teachers, even when they treated my children unfairly.)

Despite my mothering deficits, my kids did look up to me enough to seek my counsel. For years, an armchair sat next to my desk (I worked from home at freelance jobs) that we dubbed the “advice chair” because at various times they’d plop down in it, often interrupting my work, to talk out a problem or tell me about their goings-on. That chair still sits in our family room now, and I don’t know if I could ever get rid of it, despite how worn it becomes.

I love my children more than life itself. But I realized, looking back, that motherhood was sometimes an uncomfortable fit for me and that I struggled to do a good job.

And you know what? That’s okay.

It’s okay if you struggle at parenting. Your particular child doesn’t come with an instruction book.

It’s okay if you get some things wrong. In fact, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are thousands of ways to parent that will not damage a child irreparably, and only a handful of things that will ruin a kid’s life.

It’s okay if you even wonder if you should be a parent.

That’s at the crux of Anne’s Family Plan. As Anne falls in love with Lt. Col. Eric Bankwell, she also confronts the fact that she’s okay not wanting to be a mother — even as two friends announce their pregnancies. What she’s not okay with is pretending to care for Eric’s daughters…until she learns she really does.

BookLife has said of Anne’s Family Plan:

“This book features an uncommon plot and unique take on modern-day romance and one that highlighted some pervasive, but little seen, aspects of military life…The standard love-story trope is elevated here into something intriguing, quickly capturing and keeping the reader’s attention.”

I want to thank my USAF pilot son David Sternberg for helping me with military and air force details. (All mistakes are my own, however!)

I hope you take a chance on this new book. It’s on sale as it launches at the Kindle store (you can order it here) and will be available in print soon.

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